Monday, 27 June 2011

Dream of a teenage girl

(There's so many things to write but I just couldn't write them in words. Tried to jot down some experience which I could lay on words. Happy Reading. Find some videos on the given link.) 

Hey there people, this weekend has been one of the amazing week in my life for sure. Sorry for bragging too much about it. I'm going to tell you why it was. I grew up in a household where I had a big brother who was very much into heavy metal and rock. Younger sibling always have influence of the elder ones, not totally but to some extent may be. Everybody in the house loves music and there always plenty of rooms for it. I heard from my brother about Bon Jovi, GN'R, Led Zapplin, Iron Maiden, Pearl Jam, Metallica, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Pantera, Pink Floydd, Poison, Mr Big, Van Halen, The Scorpions, Megadeth, U2 and many many more. If I start writing it'll be a whole book I guess. He used to have a whole collection of posters, year book published by Billboard Top 100, pictures, etc. Since then I have always been fond of rock and metal music, I do like other music as well but what I call real music is ROCK MUSIC. I used to sing along with my brother (though my voice didn't suit it). I tried to learn guitar but wasn't able to play it well cause my fingers were to small to reach all the chords, I memorised all those lyrics by heart. I had a dream of being in a live concert. I never ever thought, 'a dream of a teenage girl came true'. Thought it took more than a decade to fulfill that dream atlast it did happen. I think my brother would be proud of me cause I truly believe its not only my dream but its his dream as well (haven't told him yet).

I had a chance to see him last year in O2 Arena, but I didn't had anyone to go along with me. I regretted so much for missing that chance. Then I hear in TV that he is coming in Hard Rock Calling 2011 concert. I thought to myself, this time if I have to go alone then I will. I won't expect anybody to come with me, luckily my sister was with me. I know she is also true fan of Bon Jovi. I did spend a lot of money to do here and there and waited almost 5.30 hours to see them. But, but tell you what guys, it's completely worth it. When they came it was all music, magic and just felt like the whole air over there had a different melody. Even the smell of beer and drunk people smelt like rock flavour. All those people around us were taller then us, way too much tall. I was telling my sister, 'oh our heads are in their tummy or chest.' Most of them were very supportive saying,'come here! you guys can see better from here'. I was very lucky to be lifted by this guy. I was never on the shoulder of anybody before, gosh there I was on the shoulder of some unknown white guy. I later realised he had some message written on this cheeks and it goes like ,'MARRY ME', haha funny. I saw everything so clearly. I even saw the real JBJ and Ritchie Sambora and the group. OMG that feeling was awsome, I could see all the people in the concert below me. They played almost all the songs I liked and I also knew the lyrics, not alienated for not knowing lyrics in those crowd. We were like 'Crane in the house of Crow', a famous Nepalese saying. Infact they were staring at us when we were screaming and spilling out those rock fever words. Ahhh what a blissful moment. I forgot all those hassles to get there and all those waiting. Then I kind of realised, 'If it's worth waiting I might as well wait', it goes to many things in my life, but sad and bitter truth is I don't kow what is worth and what isn't. I can't explain all those feelings just here with few words, even if I have thousands of words can't really express the kind of happiness I experienced yesterday 25.06.2011. My hands were holding my iphone to capture to momentus and they weren't tired at all. I have shared some videos in my youtube channel.

By the way, I nearly forgot to mention in my excitement, I also saw Ryan Davies the frontman of KinKs. When I first heard his name called out I was like ,'who is he?'. As soon as he was on the stage most of the people stood up and there were 'oooo's and cheers everywhere. After listening to his song then I suddenly knew I have heard his music. Then he played another nice song and so on and on. I wonder how do I know his songs so well, I finally figured it out. I hear his song everyday in the radio at work cause my employer likes songs from 60's, 70's and 80's,DAB Gold Radio. It's nice to know more about songs and singers as well as music.

Today, 26.06.2011, I went to place where there is a small man-made sandy beach. It has actually a small lake but they've put sand on the shore which makes it like a sandy beach. One of the hottest temperature of 29 degree centigrade. It's rare to enjoy such temperature in London. There was woodland to walk along and many things to do. I enjoyed hot weather despite getting sunburn and sweaty feeling all the time. 

Ooopss didn't realise it's been a long post trying to write all these things. Thanks for reading. :)
they're both my Converse 
wish they could have put the screens bit higher

Ritchie Sambora does it his way, WOW
Here's JBJ, still strong and young. 

The crowd

Sunday, 19 June 2011

Greedy love

I've been watching this Korean Drama day and night to finish it. It's not that I'm addicted to it but I just love watching them. In every drama I learn many new things. But to be honest, they show too much of 'Love' thing. That kind of true love hardly exist in this crazy fast moving world. I was watching this particular one and with all those drama this guy (leading actor) says to the heroin that ,'I might sound greedy but my love is greedy. I'm becoming greedy in your love. I'm ready to do anything to be with you and to get your love'. Huh, I was like REALLY???? Well if I think of it, he's not actually wrong. I think people do become greedy in love. They can suddenly leave everything for the particular person. Those parents who love and nourish them are ignored, left behind. Even closest friends are kept aside. Then a thought came into my mind. If love is greedy then how come people say ,'Oh my love was pure and innocent'. Hahaha I felt like laughing. How can people with heart of pure and innocent love be so greedy that can ignore and hurt people around them. I have been disappointed by my close friends in the past, strong evidence enough for me to believe that love is greedy. Or if its not greedy then its not love,, its just lust or some crazy obsession. 

Anyways, the thing is in the end, I think LOVE is just LOVE. It's people who makes it greedy. It's a beautiful feeling that medical science can't explain. Does love exist in heart or inside your brain? I don't understand how heart feels pain when your brain is reacting to love. Trust me I have squeezed my heart and cried the hell out thinking that my heart is hurting. Whenever I found out that my trust in someone I truly desire has been shattered, I used to press my head and heart thinking that it won't hurt if I do so. Heart's main function is to pump out blood to every corner of our body; so is it capable of love. Is it only our mind inside this brain who says its hurting in the heart but in reality it could be your mind which is hurting. uuuuuuffffff enough of this love. I think your heart reacts to any sudden action by brain, like when we hear good news he become happy and our heart beats faster. It's the same as when we hear sad news our heart beats differently. Similarly, I think when we talk about love and feelings, our brain gives all those signals (through sensory nerves) to heart and it starts beating in a peculiar way. That's why we relate love to our  heart.  Strange!!!!! 

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, 15 June 2011


A simple poem I wrote back in Nepal many years ago. That would be probably my first English poem I wrote. I wrote this poem asking questions and getting confused with myself.

I only lie,
But don't know why?

I feel very shy,
Just to say I love you why?

I only want you to be mine,
But cannot answer why?

Only for you, my love shines,
But the fact is that you don't know why?

Everybody says love is blind,
But nobody can say it is why?

Everyone says why?
But no one knows what is why?

Why? Why? Why? :)

Thanks for reading, hope you're not confused like me.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Hunted by memories

It's nearly 4am in the morning. I can hear birds making sounds as if like they're singing. No wonder I like nature so much; it just makes me fresh and alive. At this very moment I miss Nepal a lot. Whenever I have this feeling, I'm back to Nepa, in Kathmandu, getting ready to go to morning classes, or may be getting ready to go to picnic arraged by us, or may be just waking up and doing nothing. I miss the smell of morning, the quite melodies and the ringing of bell continously sometimes. People are quite religious in Nepal. They take shower early morning and worship. Too much for early morning. The feeling of being at home, that relief, that pleasure; I have never experienced after coming here cause I live in a rented house. No matter what you do and how well you lookafter the rented house after all its like you're foster parenting an adopted child who'll one day definately be taken away by their blood relatives. These birds are making more and more sound now.

I remember those days, when we make plan to go to picnic somewhere far from Kathmandu's crowd and noise. I could not sleep at night cause I'm so excited. I wake up early and get ready. When we finally meet up at the designated place we wait for our friends. We make fun of each other, crack out jokes, sing lovely songs. Some passersby give us a look like what the hell are we doing. Even if its chilly but not cold, when you are with friends it feels like life is so much fun. I would normally carry a guitar to play in picnic for my friends though I don't know how to play. I would beg my brother to lend it for one day. Hehe cheeky me. Those days were so much fun and I miss it a lot. 

When we arrive at the picnic spot (usually river bank), we all work together and feed ourselves. It's amazing how boys used to work. Some boys even knew cooking better than girls; quite impressive! After breakfast everybody goes out for strolling, taking pictures and boys normally swimming (not to mention the topless photos they hide from us :P). Lunch is prepared with all teamwork, again I say how amazing group work is. I would only help them in preparation cause didn't have confident in cooking back then. After lunch, we dance (make funny moves, dance in circle, giving an indirect look to the person you fancy hehe), play antakshari (continuing any new song with the alphabet which ends previous song), play in the water( but I was very scared to high current water though I love swimming to bits). Memories- memories- memories ahhhh. On our way back to capital city of Kathmandu, on those long and winding dangerous roads, some chilly feelings always hunted me though. I would think for a fraction of seconds why have we come so far just to have fun. If we die here, we are far from our family and may be never see them again. Haaa but to be with friends and having fun is what we can't do with family.

Obviously I couldn't go back now, what's left is only photographs and memories. Dear friends wherever and however or whichever condition you are in at the moment I just like to thank you for making my past life so memorable. Love to all. Cheers :)

Thank you for reading!!! <3

Friday, 10 June 2011

Untold words for her :(

For a friend who was closest to me yet we are unknown to each other now. We didn't even say goodbye to each other, may be we are hoping for something better or worst. God knows.

Yo kasto asar paryo hamro mitrata lai,
Kasko najar lagyo yesto gahiro sambanda lai,
Hami yesari tadhiyao kahile nabhetney gari,
Aba ta kebal cha samjhana yo mutu bhari.

Cheheko thiye mero samay dina,
Tara timile arkai ko ashraya liyo kina?
Khojeko thiye mero haat dina,
Tara timile arkai ko haat samayau kina?
Mann ma euta kuna cha; jasma timro matra baas cha,
Tyo thau sadhai khali nai cha;
Timi aauchau kunai din bhanne sano euta aas cha.
Hami yesari risayau kahile namilney gari,
Aba ta kebal tiraskar cha yo mutu bhari.

Sacheko thiye hamro icchya,
Tara tyo fato ayo hamro bichma  kina?
Rameko thiye hamro khel-thatta ma,
Tara udayi lagyo andhi le hamro haso kina?
Mann ma euta ghau cha; jasma timro matra naam cha,
Tyo pida mutu ma sadhai aalo nai cha,
Timi bujhdainai yo sandesh bhanne hridaya ma euta raas cha.
Hami yesari basyao saat samudra paari,
Aba ta kebal cha mriga-trishna yo mutu bhari.

Yo kasto asar paryo hamro mitrata lai,
Kasko najar lagyo yesto gahiro sambanda lai,
Hami yesari tadhiyao kahile nabhetney gari,
Aba ta kebal cha samjhana yo mutu bhari

English Translation but not exactly same.

Why this influence hit our friendship,
An evil eye has split our deep relationship,
We are separated like we'll never met,
Only remeberance is there in heart to see.

I wanted to give you my time,
But why did you take shelter elsewhere?
I wanted to give you my hand,
But why did you hold other's hand and adhere?
Only for you, I have a secret corner in my heart left blank ,
Hoping someday you'll return as a friend.
We are separated like we'll never reconcile,
Only negligence is there in heart to remind.

Kept our funny dreams and wishes,
But why did this bitterness kept growing?
Was enjoying our fun loving adventures,
But why did tornado swept away all those laughters?
Only for you, I have placed a pain in your name,
Doubting that you'll ever realise and be the same.
We are separated  and living seven seas apart,
Only mirage is there in my heart.

Thanks for Reading. I still believe I have other true and loving friends who cares for me. I hope wherever she is she'll be happy. :)

Monday, 6 June 2011

Double birthday bonanza

7th June, my elder sister's birthday. And also my blog buddy's birthday(just came to know him few months ago). But I like to wish both of these people a many many happy returns of the day though I know my sister isn't interested in celebrating it. Both were born in same day but different decades.

Aja timro subhajanmotsab ko din,
Aakash bata chamkilo tara jhareko din.
Pura hos manokamana haru anek,
Fulos falos ichhya-akanchya harek.
Yo saal ma safalta le paaila timro chumos,
Bhagya ra mauka dubai haat ma paroos.
Subhashish didai chu yo hridaya kholera,
Ujwal bhawisya banaunu yasari nai atal deep banera.

English translation: (Not so exact though)
Today is the auspicious occasion of your Birthday,
The brightest star fell down to earth in this day,
May god fulfill your dreams so many,
You get those kinds of wishes any.
May this year you get the success you preserve,
Opportunity and luck may knock the door that you deserve.
With an open heart I'm giving you these blessings,
Make your future bright and blossoming.

Thank you for reading. :)

Happy Birthday didi and also mero sano saathi. :) :D