Dear readers,
It's one of those awkward moments when I no longer can figure out what am I proud of in life and what is so proud to be in me. Most of the time I'm proud of myself being survived in this fast moving and self-centered world but all the other time I'm a bit confused of my proudness. My self-esteem drops down at times and I feel like I don't really have anything so worthwhile to be proud of. I don't even know whether my family or my friends or my relatives are proud of me. What I've gone through all these years and my experiences are nothing to be proud of I guess. Those experiences makes me sad as well sometimes. But I tend to protect good times only and try to keep aside horrible ones. I have recollection of each moments but still trying hard not to remember those moments which annoys me most.
Things I'm proud of:
It's one of those awkward moments when I no longer can figure out what am I proud of in life and what is so proud to be in me. Most of the time I'm proud of myself being survived in this fast moving and self-centered world but all the other time I'm a bit confused of my proudness. My self-esteem drops down at times and I feel like I don't really have anything so worthwhile to be proud of. I don't even know whether my family or my friends or my relatives are proud of me. What I've gone through all these years and my experiences are nothing to be proud of I guess. Those experiences makes me sad as well sometimes. But I tend to protect good times only and try to keep aside horrible ones. I have recollection of each moments but still trying hard not to remember those moments which annoys me most.
Things I'm proud of:
- Being a Nepali and born in Nepal,
- Winning prizes in school and taking it home and give it to mom every year,
- Getting driving license at the age of 18,
- Persuing my dream of being independant as soon as I finish my higher secondary,
- Again getting driving license in the UK (followed by buying a car),
- passing difficult exams (though I failed many exams after coming here, first time in life),
- Sending little amount of money home in festive season(though I was broke),
- Making my parents proud (but I quite not know what they're proud of)
- To be able to give some support to my younger sister,
- Meeting many people from all over the world,
- Opening a blog and keeping my writing spirit alive (thanks to twitter buddies).
The list continues................
But one the other hands things that I'm not too proud of are:
- Leaving some unfinished studies and works behind,
- Ignoring some chances cause those chances clash with my self-respect,
- Being aggressive and mixing my emotions and anger together,
- Eating more and not be able to lose weight (hehehe),
- Competitive driving (I get annoyed by people overtaking me without signalling).
Ahh well this list continues as well. The thing I know very well is that I'm proud of calling myself Nepali and introduce my country to those who don't know geography. I'm in the UK right now, it's my Karmavumi (workplace), but one day I will definitely serve my Matrivumi (motherland).
I feel better after writing this post. This blog has been my means of spreading my happiness and communicating. Love my readers and the followers. Keep my spirit alive people.
Hei Shaku, Even those things that you're not proud of..I think you should be proud of them because that's what makes who you are at the moment.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this..Gotta make my own list as well..clarifies things a lot you know.
Take care.
Hey There, thanks for ur comment. Thinking of what you said above is true. I should be proud of myself and the things I do. Much appreciate your support dear.
ReplyDeleteHey....(don't know your real name lol). I never realized that there are lot of things that I can proud of myself.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this post I am prouder than ever :P
And I really loved your line about matrabhumi and karmabhumi
Keep the spirit alive girl :)
thanks a lot for reading my blog and dropping your comment. :) appreciate it!
Delete