In a dilemma situation.

Hey guys, today I haven't got anything interesting to write as such. I have been trying to figure out something for quite sometime now. I always thought that I would lead a life I desired and live a life I deserve. It's not that I'm not not happy or I'm not living the life I desired, it's just that I have left something unfinished. I wish to continue and finish it. But I'm in dilemma whether to continue or not. The question here is, 'Will I be able to finish it as I expected or will I just leave it as I left it before; unfinished?' After my 10+2 I came overseas to study something. I was young and that was the first time I was on my own. Facing the difficulties of survival in this unknown country and people, I couldn't complete the studies. I started studying something else and did quite well in that as well now. But deep in my heart there is always a dissatisfaction or lets just say a feeling of incompleteness that hunted me. So, lately (over a year :) I have been thinking of going back to the same course and finish it off. It obviously means the biggest decision cause it means I have to contribute 2 more years of my life, enjoyment, money, freedom and so on. I'm not worried to sacrifice them if I can do well in completing the studies, what the concern is that am I confident enough. I have thought of it over and over again yet I'm still looking for answers. I'm confident that I can do it but still there is a side of me which is not so confident. I frankly say that I lack confidence in certain field and I'm super confident in certain things. It also means changing careers at that stage of time when most people are already settled down  in their prospective careers.

Even though I left it long time ago, I still have the chance to continue it. I called up the board and they say I still have time. Haaa I just thought like, how could I be that lucky. My profession now is also a professional and prospective but I'm still looking to work harder. What life would have been if there's no existence of this thing called 'dream high, expect high, or lets just say to be better'. There's a famous saying by Mahakavi Laxmi Prasad Devkota (the greatest poet of Nepal ) that ,'Udeshya Ke Linu, Udi Chunu Chandra Ma Jun!'. It simply means you've got to aim high so that one day you can reach the highest peak as far as the moon. I have deeply thought that this is what I want to pursue now, I might fail my exam or I might end up hopeless but I'll still try my best. I've got to overcome this dilemma situation myself. This time if I want to go back and study all those things again it would be little bit difficult as I'm not used to those 'terms' anymore. I have been lucky in my life in many ways, so hopefully this time as well luck would be in my favour if I try hard. In my point of view, we never stop learning; either in your life or in your studies. I tell my mates and relatives 'Do you ever stop studying, it just continues!'. So, I might as well take it seriously and work on it.

Thanks for reading, sharing these thoughts feels like I'm one step closer to the answers. Even though we communicate only through words it just feels like you are listening to me. Thanks very much for being my backbone of hope and I appreciate your support. :) :D

Be happy!