My restless mind

'' It is silent evening of June in London. Seems like this streetlights have given enough lights for moon to be angry and hide. In this quite room there is only me and this laptop or might be some ghost roaming around. Mind you I heard that every house in London is hunted. My small nose is supporting this pair of glasses which has become my helping eyes more than a decade. Throat little bit soar, hair is all over my shoulder and yet I try to figure out what interesting thing I can write about in my blog.

I pretend that I have a time machine and I am taking you back to past. I have not found time machine for future yet. 

This was way back in late 80's in Brunei. It is a vivid memory that someone stood up help me long time ago. I never knew what was bullying at a age as young as 6 or 7. This senior sister in my school was being a little mean to me and was telling me to do tasks at school. I don't know why she was like that but as usual I quickly refused and rebelled and I got in trouble. She got angry and started telling me off.  I keep laughing when I remember that situation, I was so angry and but was still holding my temper and standing infront of her. May be I was thinking whether rebelling was good thing or not but certainly I was thinking of fighting with her. I have always been a tomboyish girl. I am not trying to say that she was a bad person or she did wrong, may be she had her reasons to do it. Suddenly out of nowhere this senior brother came and stood up for me. I don't remember his face, I don't remember his name but I do always remember the favour he did for me. I am always grateful to him. I felt like I am not always wrong in things that I do. Later on things were smooth and I often used to see him in school and did respect him a lot. Then our family moved back to Nepal. After nearly 20 years later I saw the sister who tried to give me hard time, there is no hard feelings but still I haven't forgotten her face. May be she has already forgotten what she did but I never did. May be we just accept the fact and move on rather than stuck in one situation.

The morale is that 'Do not be afraid to stand up for your rights.' No matter how hard we try we never actually forget bad memories but we have to cherish our present as well. Forgiveness is a vast word but we do have to try it on us.

I opened my eyes after few minutes of nap, laptop still in my lap and head titled on sofa's lap. It's almost morning and my sleep has gone on vacation. The stomach feels empty and growling, the sound from laptop fan, wall clock, typing letters and even my heartbeat is bigger than ever. Now I have to leave for my most favourite place, the comfort of my cosy bed. The story is continues. ''

googled image

I keep wondering and my mind is always restless. It's not that I am unhappy, just that I keep thinking. I keep thinking of doing something different all the time. I am not trying to prove anything to anybody or show how different I am. I feel refreshed and reborn all over again when I do something new.

 One day I saw a brief description of a book in a magazine about a lady in her seventies writing about her life experiences. So, for couple of weeks I have been thinking of writing a book or a novel or a short story of some experience of my life and not share it with anyone haha.Yet again I wonder if I have the capability to do it or not. Do I have that vocabulary knowledge to impress myself? I don't even have the guts to show it to anyone. Is it a secret which is buried inside me or I am just making everyone curious? Everyone has some secret inside them. Well, I am making everyone curious now. Laughing with myself. 

We live in this world which seems same everyday but it is changing day by day. I feel like I am living same life for past few years but no things are changing around me. I am older than what I was and I have become same person with slightly different priorities. 

I do wish to write a book about my experiences and publish it. It is just a mere thought. Thanks for reading. 

Now where do I start my story????

Flashback to past

Sorry this post became longer than I expected!!!!!!!!!!!


As we grow older, the only thing remains I guess are the memories of past. We become more experienced in certain things and more arrogant in most of the things. I find mostly elderly people are more stubborn to their decision. So far I have learnt many things in life but I still think I need to learn more. I never stop learning as I said before in one of my post. I have got many photographs of those moments, those beautiful experiences and adventures. But the ones which I don't have photographs are the ones which are most memorable for me. 


Getting back to the topic here, suddenly today I remembered few people I left on my long journey of life. My moments with them are very short but I always remember them (not sure whether few of them still recognise me or not). Whenever I think of them, my heart beats differently and I feel like I'm back to that very moment again. Here are the people I remember most even I have only spent short span of time with them. It's some unknown force which binds me to them, may be the time I spent with them were just unforgettable.


1. When I was in 9th standard, I accompanied my mom to go to Itahari (Eastern Nepal). We had some visits to make and dealings to close.  The travel was a bit scary along the River Trishuli (where most people die from accident,i.e. place like Krishna Vir). Everytime the driver pressed hard on break I would wake up from my sleep. Tensed moment. Hahaha I also watched hindi movie 'Raja Hindustani'. On our way, I saw the River Sapta Koshi (combination of 7 rivers). My heart stopped for a minute. I surrendered myself to River Koshi's vastness. The immense force of water, the deep green water,,ahhhh amazing. I was there before but I was very small. We stayed at our relatives house. I've always heard their name but never actually saw them. There was one sister, such a beautiful girl. She was just a year older than me and we soon get along with each other. She had different taste in food, different way of cooking, different way of keeping me amused. We even shared some funny jokes and went to walk together. She made my stay there bit interesting. They made me drink fresh cow milk, pure one; just taken from cow. After few hours I was in toilet, not to mention why. The only thing I don't like about there is the taste of water. Me and her bonded quite well, she took me for shopping and showed me her hangout places. Soon there was time we had to get back to Kathmandu, she helped me comb my hair, even cooked me nice meal. I was already feeling strange. Me and my mom said our farewell and were walking along the road. She was walking behind us, I kept looking back for no reason. I still saw her standing there and waving at us everytime I looked back. At that very moment I felt like running back to her and hug her. She was standing right there until we changed to the other route. I still remember her and that moment. We haven't met since then but I have kept these memories in my heart. There are no photographs to prove our meetings. For your information, on the way back too Kathmandu there was reports of earthquake while we were on bus. haha

Lesson I learnt: Since that moment, while departing with somebody I love, I never look back no matter what cause if I do so, I feel like I might lose them. (just the instinct)


2. We always had visitors in our house throughout the whole year, a. we lived in Capital and everybody from village would passby our place before they leave country or after they return; b. most relative would come to find something in the Capital and they lived in our place temporarily ( atleast a year hehe). I always liked it that we had visitor in our house. But this time the visitor was in our neighbour's house; our far relative. She was one month younger than me. She has lived most of her life in Dhankuta (Eastern Nepal). Again we soon were getting along with each other quite well. She would tell me all those amazing stories of her place, friends, college life. I would listen to her for hours and hours. I took her to some of my favourite spots, my hideaways, my roaming places in my hometown. My friends (Male) were asking her name. hahaha She was one of a beauti, tall (very unusual in my race LIMBU), long hair, and quite a personality. While she mentioned all those things about her hometown I was creating my own version of that place in my mind. I definately will go there someday. Again here comes bitter truth, she had to go back to where she belong and her mom came to pick her up. We departed with smiles and promises to keep in touch. She even sent me greeting cards few times. But now its been many many years we are not in contact, simply because there is no connection and I don't have her contact details. Soon after she left I heard she got married (she was only 18 or 19).


Lesson I learnt: People meet and depart is a way of life but after we depart the likelihood of meeting again is decided only by destiny. So sad I still remember her and her charming character.


3. This friend of mine is a sweet friend. She had short hair, fair skin, good heart and good sense of humour. We are still in touch through all these modern means of social networking sites. She would tell me all those stories about her hometown Dhangadi, again I was imagining my own version. The places she visited, people she met, incidents she faced and all. I could just listen to her for hours and hours. She told me how she had suffered from health problem while she was sitting exam for her 10+2; went into exam hall with the saline water attached to her wrist. She was a good table tennis player, took me to watch national level game. As well as being modern girl, she had the quality of a good homely girl. Cooking, cleaning, washing was nothing for her. She would sing and dance without hesitation, crack a joke without stuttering, laugh without any obligations. After I knew her for sometime I knew, people who are most smiling have the most painful things inside them. I saw her crying infront of me for some reason. I learnt many many things from her. She was the first girl who did threading of my eyebrows, gosh that hurt. We also had flings in our accountancy class. ahahhaha not to mention the details. There we met the great great grandson of Adikavi BhanuBhakta Acharya. She also introduced me to this brother who was training to be an actor; he is a famous actor now in Nepalese Cinema World. There are many words to mention her but if I start it it'll be a whole book. She's in Johannesburg at the moment with her hubby and I really wish her to visit UK soon.


Lesson I learnt: No matter what life treats you, you should always be ready to accept and challenge it with a smile in your face. One day definately you'll succeed. 


There are many more people in my list but can't mention all of them here. Hope you're not bored to finish this long post. Forgive me if I reminded you of your painful departure with someone, somewhere.


Morale of this blog I suppose is, cherish the person, the moment, the experience at the very moment before you depart from it. I was blissful to be able to share those unforgettable moments with them to recall it now. Lets just say the beautiful reminiscence of friendship and togetherness.

Thank you all. :) :D