My restless mind

'' It is silent evening of June in London. Seems like this streetlights have given enough lights for moon to be angry and hide. In this quite room there is only me and this laptop or might be some ghost roaming around. Mind you I heard that every house in London is hunted. My small nose is supporting this pair of glasses which has become my helping eyes more than a decade. Throat little bit soar, hair is all over my shoulder and yet I try to figure out what interesting thing I can write about in my blog.

I pretend that I have a time machine and I am taking you back to past. I have not found time machine for future yet. 

This was way back in late 80's in Brunei. It is a vivid memory that someone stood up help me long time ago. I never knew what was bullying at a age as young as 6 or 7. This senior sister in my school was being a little mean to me and was telling me to do tasks at school. I don't know why she was like that but as usual I quickly refused and rebelled and I got in trouble. She got angry and started telling me off.  I keep laughing when I remember that situation, I was so angry and but was still holding my temper and standing infront of her. May be I was thinking whether rebelling was good thing or not but certainly I was thinking of fighting with her. I have always been a tomboyish girl. I am not trying to say that she was a bad person or she did wrong, may be she had her reasons to do it. Suddenly out of nowhere this senior brother came and stood up for me. I don't remember his face, I don't remember his name but I do always remember the favour he did for me. I am always grateful to him. I felt like I am not always wrong in things that I do. Later on things were smooth and I often used to see him in school and did respect him a lot. Then our family moved back to Nepal. After nearly 20 years later I saw the sister who tried to give me hard time, there is no hard feelings but still I haven't forgotten her face. May be she has already forgotten what she did but I never did. May be we just accept the fact and move on rather than stuck in one situation.

The morale is that 'Do not be afraid to stand up for your rights.' No matter how hard we try we never actually forget bad memories but we have to cherish our present as well. Forgiveness is a vast word but we do have to try it on us.

I opened my eyes after few minutes of nap, laptop still in my lap and head titled on sofa's lap. It's almost morning and my sleep has gone on vacation. The stomach feels empty and growling, the sound from laptop fan, wall clock, typing letters and even my heartbeat is bigger than ever. Now I have to leave for my most favourite place, the comfort of my cosy bed. The story is continues. ''

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I keep wondering and my mind is always restless. It's not that I am unhappy, just that I keep thinking. I keep thinking of doing something different all the time. I am not trying to prove anything to anybody or show how different I am. I feel refreshed and reborn all over again when I do something new.

 One day I saw a brief description of a book in a magazine about a lady in her seventies writing about her life experiences. So, for couple of weeks I have been thinking of writing a book or a novel or a short story of some experience of my life and not share it with anyone haha.Yet again I wonder if I have the capability to do it or not. Do I have that vocabulary knowledge to impress myself? I don't even have the guts to show it to anyone. Is it a secret which is buried inside me or I am just making everyone curious? Everyone has some secret inside them. Well, I am making everyone curious now. Laughing with myself. 

We live in this world which seems same everyday but it is changing day by day. I feel like I am living same life for past few years but no things are changing around me. I am older than what I was and I have become same person with slightly different priorities. 

I do wish to write a book about my experiences and publish it. It is just a mere thought. Thanks for reading. 

Now where do I start my story????