Monday, 25 April 2011

The One

This is purely my own creation from heart. If it resembles to any other similar quotes then it is truely a mere co-incidence.
I have written these lines in those heartbroken days of my life which seems like a mirage to me now. Being lonely and trying desperately to make myself happy and comfort myself with the tricks of words. All of a sudden I feel like sharing it cause today I watching this 24 Episodes long Taiwanese Drama called 'Fated to be loved', which I believe. There is loads of drama going on in the drama but the main thing is 'if you are destined to be with someone then even fate will bring you together'. ...hahaha sounds to funny but as I said I do believe in it. :)

Here goes:

'The One'
I might not be the only one you care,
But I might be the one,

I might not be the only one you see,
But I might be the one,

I might not be the only one  you cherish,
But I might be the one,

I might not be the only one you like,
But I might be the one,

I might not be the only one you hurt,
But I might be the one,

I might not be the only one you love,
But I might be the one,

I might not be the only one,
But I might be the one.

After writing these lines, suddenly my heart was at ease and I felt a sign of relief afterall  the bitter truth is you have to mend your heart and mind yourself.

Can't say much today, I'm back to my drama gotta finish it,,,just finished 15 episodes, still 9 left. :)

P.S.- do I stand out in the crowd? hehehehe

Sunday, 24 April 2011

'Que Sera Sera'

            Its not long ago I went to meet my friend's brother and his family. We were just there for a day or so. After the event passed (that we went especially for), like any other party I would feel frustrated to see the mess when I get home. The other morning a little girl came and asked me,' What would you like to be when you grow up?'. I was like'''''''what?????'''. Its been a long time that no one has asked me that question. Children are pure of heart. So all I did was sing a song for her. 
'When I was just a little girl I asked my mother what would I be, 
Will I be pretty, will be rich, here's what she said to me.
'Que sera sera, whatever will be will be,
The future's not ours to see,
Que sera sera, what will be , will be.'
Poor little girl was surprised why I sang that song instead of replying her question. She said her teacher sang that song in class. In fact I heard this song when I myself was very young from my dad. Anyways she did ask me why did I say that. I wanted to do so many things while I was in my early life.

Back in school in Hong Kong, in one of those 'one act play', I was meant to dress up like a nurse and act. I was so impressed that I decided I want to be a NURSE.
Then family moved to Brunei, I was in the art competition in school, I wanted to be very good artist.
Again we moved Kathmandu, many ambitions followed after that. At one time I wanted to be a doctor, the other moment I wanted to be a pilot. Sometimes I would think of being a singer and most the time dream of being a writer. I even tried to learn guitar by heart,,uuufff. I studied science very hard until the SLC only to realise that Science is not what I will study in my 10+2. I was a Commerce student and enjoyed every minute of calculating and balancing Balance sheets. I thought I was good in accounts. Came to study Accounts in London but again ended up in Science thing. After all it was worth studying science hardly in school.

Well, thing is we don't know what we could be in future.  No offense to anybody. We can only work towards it. I thought I could not become neither doctor nor nurse cause I could not see too much blood and the smell of it.

 I could not become                                                   Cause                                                                                             
 pilot                                                             my eyesight is not good
 artist                                                            needs a lot of patience
 singer/ dancer                                             I only sing /dance for myself
 writer                                                          my writing is occasional only

There are many more things in the list. When asked in school, what is your ambition by teacher. Many of them said many things like engineer, pilot, doctor, architect and so on. But amongst them few girls said 'I want to be a good housewife'. I sort of made a funny grin in my face. 'Is that what people want to be?' haha.  For me that was least of the priority thing.Thinking of it now, that choice was not that bad. It takes a lot of dedication to be a good housewife. I kind of came to my senses and realize it later in my life that what we call 'Ambition or Aim' is completely different from what we call 'Dreams and interests'. Just because I am good at singing doesn't mean I would be a singer. I have always been sort of the 'IN THE MIDDLE'. This is because, teachers would normally remember those pupil who are either 'the nerd' or 'the brilliant' ones. 'ME'- I was just normal student who is good in studies but not the board topper and does not involve in accidents in school. Neither I was like Aishwarya Rai nor I was like Ugly Betty. I did participate in few poetry recitation competitions, extra curriculum activities like martial arts, basketball,dancing and guess what also won the 'essay writing competition'. But all these activities made me jack of all master of none,,,hahhahah , it really sucks. I have done many many things until now. I am not in the stage where I could decide what will I be in future. I think I am in the phase of life where I would work towards my objectives I set and which would lead me to my AIM. All I want is 'to be a successful person whole-heartedly'. 

Lastly, the sweet little girl said to me that even she doesn't know what she would be. We shared the laugh together. She has her whole life of adolescent days, teenage days, adulthood, growing up and so on but I'm already halfway through it. May be in life we come to realize later in the life that,'Life is not what we think, not what we see but what we have to live', a famous Nepali song. I would still be ambitious and positive towards my future and looking forward to fulfill my dreams and also making my way towards my ambition. :)

Thanks for reading. 

Saturday, 16 April 2011

Dominated by habits

Well I am just a human being who created many habits while growing up in different environments, different places, different religions, different peoples around and also the clash of different cultures. People are not born with habits, in my point of view it entirely depends upon your upbringing, your socialisation(surroundings) whether its at home or your school or college. There are different 'Norms' in each socio-cultural division of people. Especially in Nepal we have all sorts of 'Do's and 'Don't Do's. I have been dominated by this habits of mine which makes me mad at myself for not dealing with it. I can't change myself how can I change someone else's Knowledge, Behaviour and attitude. Its like my works sometimes, very difficult to convince people. We don't know their background information, their socialisation, their diet habits, their attitude, their knowledge, their behaviour yet we have to advise them, convince them, put stress on them either way convince them to do the thing that they must do for their own well being. Might be thinking what kind of job is that, well I can tell you about that later.
Lets get back to the title, to be honest there are numerous habits that annoys me but the highlighted ones are:
1. Forgetting to take the mobile or keys while going out from house,
2. If I hold something in my hand for a time being its definite that I will lose it,
3. Sleeping late at night and always say to myself,'I will sleep before midnight tomorrow for sure',
4. Eat and enjoy the food with all my Five senses then realising I might gain weight,uuufffff,
5. Spend my paycheck with both hands and then get frustrated looking at my balance left,
6. Not wanting to brush my teeth at night although I do it every night,
7. Keeping things in safe place and then when I actually need it I CAN'T FIND IT,
8. Going for a grocery shopping and then when I'm finally at the cashier (after all the scanning and    packing) I realise that I haven't brought my Visa card,,aaarrrrgghh,
9. Getting angry very quickly but calm down even quicker then that, the difference is DAMAGE is already done, 
10. Get really offended when someone speaks rudely about Nepal. Trust me this has put me into many discussions with all those people from different places.

Nevertheless, I am still adjusting with all these habits. Sometimes I do get lucky even after forgetting to put things right. I have learnt that sometimes things will just workout itself without you trying hard. I consider myself lucky so far cause I read in one of the article all people are lucky in this world. Well can't say much about all being lucky but atleast I can say that 'we are lucky enough to be born as Human being; the Super brainy, Super powerful (Nepali- Sarwashaktishali, Sarwabuddhimani)  living being ever existed in the planet Earth'.

Happy New Year 2068

First of all, a very Happy New Year 2068 to all the Nepalese out there in the every corner of this world. Always be happy and spread happiness. Even the small act of kindness could bring a big changes in the society. Lets be vigilant and more optimistic towards what futures holds for us. Live everyday of your life as a gift. I once heard in one of the movie, Kung Fu Panda, an old tortoise says,' Past is history, future is mystery. Present is the gift'. I really liked what the cartoon character was saying. I never regreted my past but also never lived in future. The future problem I face is in future. So, the message here is as I always say 'live your life to fullest'. Hope this year would be the year full of happiness, success, prosperity and so on and on and on. :)
Thanks for your time.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

My love for swimming

                Amongst many things I like to do,one of them is swimming. I just love to be in water. I could even float in water without moving my limbs. It feels like flying but not in air. I even bought myself a nice professional looking Adidas costume. I have been swimming since very early age of 4 or 5 probably. I remember me diving off from the highest point of swimming pool. Thinking of it makes my senses go numb cause it is a quite scary thing to do. I always thought if people fall off from height and if they reach water instead of ground they will survive. But later on I realise that is not always the case. People can have broken legs, ribs and many things. Its just like landing on the ground. Well that's that. Now I forgot how to do diving. I need more practice in that but swimming; I'd better say it like 'I'm not the best but better than you', hahaha. One Asian looking guy was looking at me while I swam few laps. He came and told me how good I was. A bit flattered, I usually get those kind of comments when I'm in the pool. He said back in his country he used to swim in river and the current in the river would flow him easily and he loved it. To be honest in my case I would rather swim in a close swimming pool than the high current flowing river like we have in Nepal. I don't know if I ever will get out of the river if I dare to dive in there. Ooh quite scary, only the thought of it makes my feet cold. None of the lifeguards were good looking, only those lifeguards of Baywatch were hot. One of them did offer us help when we were just pretending to drop our keys on the floor of the pool and dive in to grab it. So nice of him.

                 Finally, me and my sister decided to get out of water cause it was their closing time. As soon as I step out of water I felt like why my feet are so heavy. To my surprise there was a young male cleaner who was cleaning the floor in ladies section. Ha what a job he chose, free view of ladies in swimsuit.

                 I try to make everyday different for myself cause I get bored easily with monotonous life. I can't change the routine I have and the balance I need to make between work and my hobbies but still I have to live life to the fullest.


Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Something in my mind

            As I lay in my bed to sleep, I realised another day has gone just like a blink of eye. I have no regrets in my life as such but still sometimes I feel like there are many things I have yet to achieve. There are many places I have yet to visit, many friends yet to see, many adventurous things yet to accomplish and many many dreams yet to fulfill. Still here I am stuck at 9-6 work from Monday to Friday. Will I ever get time and opportunity to do all those activities. I would love to go and see the amazon reinforest, the 7 wonders of the world, the Mount Everest, Tansmania-Australia, and many many more places. But being stuck at work and always running out of time to do anything makes me mad at myself why do I have to live my life like this. A feeling of cold breeze hits my nerves. Yet again I continue to live my life like this and life goes on. This world needs money to function every aspect of life. My dreams are dreams. One day my be if I insist they will be fulfilled, even if they are left as dreams I would still be content that atleast I had the courage to have a dream.
            All these things in my head still fresh I went into deep sleep. Don't know how it happened, I was in this fascinating place; a place where you can see greenland, mountain, river and clear blue sky. I felt so happy inside that I started smiling and carried on walking. The melodies of nature is whispering something in my ear. My hair is scattered with the fierce wind of the chilly mountain. I could forget everything at this moment of time. All the hatred, anger evil thoughts of this world and just lay there and feel the moment. The peace you get at this very moment is precious. Suddenly, my peace is disturbed by some strong noise. Guess what its my morning alarm. I am in my bed trying to remember what I was doing. Just as I opened my eyes it is a different world now. But I loved being in that beautiful place in my dream. I thought very carefully where would that kind of place might exist. I came to a simple perhaps wise conclusion, it could not be anywhere else then my own village in my country, my Nepal. I live in a world of dream but still manage to put it together with present.