'Que Sera Sera'

            Its not long ago I went to meet my friend's brother and his family. We were just there for a day or so. After the event passed (that we went especially for), like any other party I would feel frustrated to see the mess when I get home. The other morning a little girl came and asked me,' What would you like to be when you grow up?'. I was like'''''''what?????'''. Its been a long time that no one has asked me that question. Children are pure of heart. So all I did was sing a song for her. 
'When I was just a little girl I asked my mother what would I be, 
Will I be pretty, will be rich, here's what she said to me.
'Que sera sera, whatever will be will be,
The future's not ours to see,
Que sera sera, what will be , will be.'
Poor little girl was surprised why I sang that song instead of replying her question. She said her teacher sang that song in class. In fact I heard this song when I myself was very young from my dad. Anyways she did ask me why did I say that. I wanted to do so many things while I was in my early life.


Back in school in Hong Kong, in one of those 'one act play', I was meant to dress up like a nurse and act. I was so impressed that I decided I want to be a NURSE.
Then family moved to Brunei, I was in the art competition in school, I wanted to be very good artist.
Again we moved Kathmandu, many ambitions followed after that. At one time I wanted to be a doctor, the other moment I wanted to be a pilot. Sometimes I would think of being a singer and most the time dream of being a writer. I even tried to learn guitar by heart,,uuufff. I studied science very hard until the SLC only to realise that Science is not what I will study in my 10+2. I was a Commerce student and enjoyed every minute of calculating and balancing Balance sheets. I thought I was good in accounts. Came to study Accounts in London but again ended up in Science thing. After all it was worth studying science hardly in school.



Well, thing is we don't know what we could be in future.  No offense to anybody. We can only work towards it. I thought I could not become neither doctor nor nurse cause I could not see too much blood and the smell of it.


 I could not become                                                   Cause                                                                                             
 pilot                                                             my eyesight is not good
 artist                                                            needs a lot of patience
 singer/ dancer                                             I only sing /dance for myself
 writer                                                          my writing is occasional only


There are many more things in the list. When asked in school, what is your ambition by teacher. Many of them said many things like engineer, pilot, doctor, architect and so on. But amongst them few girls said 'I want to be a good housewife'. I sort of made a funny grin in my face. 'Is that what people want to be?' haha.  For me that was least of the priority thing.Thinking of it now, that choice was not that bad. It takes a lot of dedication to be a good housewife. I kind of came to my senses and realize it later in my life that what we call 'Ambition or Aim' is completely different from what we call 'Dreams and interests'. Just because I am good at singing doesn't mean I would be a singer. I have always been sort of the 'IN THE MIDDLE'. This is because, teachers would normally remember those pupil who are either 'the nerd' or 'the brilliant' ones. 'ME'- I was just normal student who is good in studies but not the board topper and does not involve in accidents in school. Neither I was like Aishwarya Rai nor I was like Ugly Betty. I did participate in few poetry recitation competitions, extra curriculum activities like martial arts, basketball,dancing and guess what also won the 'essay writing competition'. But all these activities made me jack of all master of none,,,hahhahah , it really sucks. I have done many many things until now. I am not in the stage where I could decide what will I be in future. I think I am in the phase of life where I would work towards my objectives I set and which would lead me to my AIM. All I want is 'to be a successful person whole-heartedly'. 


Lastly, the sweet little girl said to me that even she doesn't know what she would be. We shared the laugh together. She has her whole life of adolescent days, teenage days, adulthood, growing up and so on but I'm already halfway through it. May be in life we come to realize later in the life that,'Life is not what we think, not what we see but what we have to live', a famous Nepali song. I would still be ambitious and positive towards my future and looking forward to fulfill my dreams and also making my way towards my ambition. :)


Thanks for reading.