Let's laugh, Reader's Digest

Hey there all,

I am a Reader's Digest reader since many many years. It has got many useful informations packed in small package.

More laughter from RD,
A Musical Glossary :
Jazz : Five men on the same stage playing different tunes.
Blues : Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.
World Music : A dozen different types of percussion going on at once.
Opera : People singing when they should be talking.
Rap : People talking when they should be singing.
Classic : Discover the other 45 minutes from the TV advert.
Folk : Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century. 

Jack stumbled into the house.
"What's wrong?" asked his wife.
"I had a great idea," he gasped, smiling proudly. "I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved myself 75 pence."
His wife frowned. "That's just like you, Jack, always thinking small," she said, shaking her head. "Why didn't you run behind a taxi and save yourself £10?"

Life's like that

My mother was often asked to make cakes for birthdays.
One December she received a flood of orders and was trying frantically to finish our own sumptuous family Christmas cake at the time.
Halfway through icing it, she realised with horror that she had decorated the cake with the inscription : "Happy Birthday".
After a brief consideration, she added the word "Jesus" underneath.

His new hybrid petrol/ electric car was my friend's pride and joy. He was always bragging about it and boring everyone to death.
As he was giving us a lift one day, he pontificated,"They should have a special lane for people who care about the environment."
"They already do," came a voice from the backseat. "It's called the pavement".

Compiled by Shaku :) from Reader's Digest.